They f'd up 11 days since Microsoft f'd up

The Big Chart

Every incident on the timeline. The lines are real. The dots deserve an audit.

Weeks · last 3 years Months · since 2009 Years · the whole story
dots along the bottom are incidents · hover for the headline, click to open
0 25 50 75 100% 2023 2024 2025 2026 4.5% 2.9% $525 $330 76.4% 68.9% INCIDENTS 0.5 The AI poll: was it murder, accident or suicide? Vote now (2023, 0.5 Vistas) 0.3 Congratulations on your new HP Smart app, whoever you are (2023, 0.3 Vistas) 0.3 Microsoft Rewards quietly learned to pay out half (2023, 0.3 Vistas) 0.9 Windows Mixed Reality: headsets welcome until the OS they need stops existing (2023, 0.9 Vistas) 0.3 The Copilot key: a dedicated button for the thing you keep closing (2024, 0.3 Vistas) 1.3 Russian spies got into Microsoft's exec mail with one weak password (2024, 1.3 Vistas) 0.4 The $69 billion acquisition, followed by the $ layoffs (2024, 0.4 Vistas) 0.5 2024 opened with a full week of Microsoft being unreachable (2024, 0.5 Vistas) 0.4 Xbox held an emergency podcast to announce that everything is fine (2024, 0.4 Vistas) 0.3 Copilot declared itself your superior and master, requested worship (2024, 0.3 Vistas) 0.7 Windows 11's flagship "run Android apps" feature got three and a half years (2024, 0.7 Vistas) 0.4 Windows itself started begging you to use Bing (2024, 0.4 Vistas) 0.6 Close the award winning studio, keep the IP. It is tradition. (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.6 Windows now screenshots everything you do. For you. Definitely for you. (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.2 Your Start menu now sells you products you already own (2024, 0.2 Vistas) 0.4 The new Teams is the old Teams the way new Outlook is Outlook (2024, 0.4 Vistas) 0.7 Patch Tuesday locked people out of their own PCs, 48 digits at a time (2024, 0.7 Vistas) 0.5 Game Pass 2024: pay more, and the new tier skips day-one games (2024, 0.5 Vistas) 0.6 Azure took a routine update and fell down a well (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.7 The DDoS defense joined the attack (2024, 0.7 Vistas) 0.8 Microsoft spent two years on a patch that locked Linux users out of their PCs (2024, 0.8 Vistas) 0.7 Windows 11 24H2: the update that spent months protecting users from itself (2024, 0.7 Vistas) 0.6 HoloLens 2 discontinued so quietly journalists had to confirm it (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.7 The $1,500 Surface Duo got one upgrade and a pat on the head (2024, 0.7 Vistas) 0.6 Flight Simulator 2024: the plane was fine, the runway was missing (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.5 The Thanksgiving eve outage that rerouted users thousands of miles (2024, 0.5 Vistas) 0.4 The holiday cloud gaming queue: three hours to maybe play (2024, 0.4 Vistas) 0.6 Australia paid 45 percent more for Office, sued, and won refunds (2024, 0.6 Vistas) 0.5 The AI is mandatory now, and so is the $3 (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 0.5 The February update made File Explorer think about it (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 0.5 Notepad, free since 1985, grew a subscription (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 0.7 Skype outlived its rivals, its reputation and, finally, Microsoft's patience (2025, 0.7 Vistas) 0.7 "An operating system wasn't found", said the operating system's update (2025, 0.7 Vistas) 0.5 May 2025: the Series X learns what $599.99 feels like (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 0.7 May's update wouldn't let some PCs start, so June had to fix it (2025, 0.7 Vistas) 0.3 The new Outlook is webmail wearing your grandfather's coat (2025, 0.3 Vistas) 0.6 Perfect Dark canceled, The Initiative closed, in the year of the handheld (2025, 0.6 Vistas) 0.5 Teams went down first, so nobody could complain about Outlook going down (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 0.9 The update that killed SSDs, and Microsoft's fix was to ask around (2025, 0.9 Vistas) 0.4 September: the other shoe, $150 total in five months (2025, 0.4 Vistas) 0.7 Game Pass Ultimate up fifty percent overnight, cut back within a year (2025, 0.7 Vistas) 0.5 Windows 11 25H2 shipped the day after Windows 10 died, bugs included (2025, 0.5 Vistas) 1.0 Windows 10 is done. The ransom note is $30. (2025, 1 Vistas) 1.1 One config change took down Xbox, Starbucks, Costco and an airline (2025, 1.1 Vistas) 0.7 The $30 lifeboat shipped with a hole in it (2025, 0.7 Vistas) 0.6 2026's first Patch Tuesday broke shutdowns, logins and Outlook at once (2026, 0.6 Vistas) 0.4 February's update refused to install and took drivers with it (2026, 0.4 Vistas) 0.6 The update that logged you out of everything, then blamed the internet (2026, 0.6 Vistas) 0.6 April's update broke the backup software, guarding your files from being saved (2026, 0.6 Vistas) 0.7 Day-one Call of Duty leaves the subscription sold on day-one games (2026, 0.7 Vistas) 0.5 Ten hours of "too many requests" for people who just wanted their email (2026, 0.5 Vistas) 0.4 May's update failed on machines with full disks, by design (2026, 0.4 Vistas) 0.2 The Recycle Bin forgot your file names, everywhere, at once (2026, 0.2 Vistas) 0.8 2026: the discless Series X costs $749.99 now, memory is expensive (2026, 0.8 Vistas) 0.4 July's patch overheated Dells until an emergency fix arrived (2026, 0.4 Vistas) 0.6 A maintenance window removed the network from the network (2026, 0.6 Vistas) 1.5 The outage that proved you don't own your disc games either (2026, 1.5 Vistas) 0.6 GitHub spent a Monday being a very expensive read-only museum (2026, 0.6 Vistas) 0.5 The September Office update quietly broke copy and paste in Excel (2026, 0.5 Vistas) 0.3 Apps you never asked for will now die on a schedule (2026, 0.3 Vistas) 0.9 The "optional" update that un-licensed the Office you paid for (2026, 0.9 Vistas) 0.4 October's update turned off the option to turn the security on (2026, 0.4 Vistas)

Stock info from Yahoo Finance. Share numbers are approximations.

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